Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
