Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
