Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
