i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i need some magic done to my vagina
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
