its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
