the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
