Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
