Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
