You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
