Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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