he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
