I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
