How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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