May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
