i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't turn off my feet"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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