too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
