I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
