I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
