The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
