her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
