There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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