batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
