Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
