Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
