He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
