your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The best revenge is premature balding
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You are the jesus of drinking
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
