the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
