I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
