I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
