then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize