Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
