As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
