Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i believe in u and ur pee
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
