Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
id be glad to
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
