Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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