I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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