also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
