Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
