My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Randomize
