I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
