and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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