the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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