Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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