Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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