so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
