Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
