Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize