so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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