New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
