How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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